Two Roses And A Heap Of Mistakes

A gardener watches the sky break into song,
cloud wobbly with what is.
Bud, thorn, the same.
– Rumi –

My word, this has been some week! Started happily on Sunday going to Ludwigs Roses in the winelands about an hour’s drive away. So nice to walk around looking at all the roses! So many colours, the different shapes of the blooms, the different types of foliage, truly a feast for the eye. As much as I enjoyed roaming around, I had come for two roses: Blossomtime and Perfumed Breeze. Blossomtime was bred pre 1951 in the United States and I have never seen the blooms in real life, can hardly wait! Perfumed Breeze hails from Italy and oh my, I came home with a little cluster of the small pink flowers with the huge scent!

So onwards to Tuesday which had been earmarked for planting one rose. My dear eleven year old grandson had dug me a wonderful hole, such a good size, and deep enough so that was ready and waiting. The soil is so sandy so my husband and I dragged bags of good rose planting mix down the steps to that level, emptied a few into the hole, then came steadying the rose on the soil and filling up. And then watering in and placing the obelisk for the rose to clamber up! It was a big job, it was tiring. What an accomplishment. I was so pleased, so satisfied, let us say self-satisfied ..let all my people know!

Then came Thursday and I was watering in my little rose garden, I moved the rose that still needed planting to a more sheltered place and when I touched it I knew! THIS was Perfumed Breeze, I saw the little buds on the delicate stems, the very pointy leaves. Oh man! So upstairs to tell my husband. He is at his best in this kind of situation. Calm, kind, all well, we will move it.

And we did just that today! Dug up Blossomtime and prepared its large container with bags of rose mix, finally planted Perfumed Breeze in its proper home. And it felt good that digging was easier this time, that lifting the bags was easier this time.

And yes, this is a story about roses but really it is about making mistakes, getting it wrong. It was not my only mistake of the week. No, it was somewhat of a theme. I forgot things. Went shopping and then had to go straight back because I forgot one item that was on the list. Bought the incorrect more expensive veg stock. Allowed myself to get wildly panic stricken when my husband’s chronic sciatica suddenly worsened. Now when I panic I have no better self. I am critical, short tempered unsympathetic downright horrible. Every day this week I had to face a shortcoming, a failure, being remiss. By the time I got to today I had begun to take the message on board. Oh look, I know I get things wrong every week but the ratatat way it slammed into me this particular week just demanded attention. Wanted me to see, wanted me to see how it made me feel, how I reacted. Wanted me to be aware!

So from awareness to acceptance to mitigation: I need to slow down. I am one of life’s hurriers. So slow down, check the label, check the list, take a bit of care. Don’t put yourself/myself under the whip. And so back to awareness! Be in the moment for goodness sake! Let the moment set the pace. And when that mistake happens, which it will…… slow down, breathe. And then fetch the spade and dig up the rose.

If there were no rose garden,
Where would the morning breezes go?
– Rumi –