It Is The Journey That Matters

“…..but it is the journey that matters in the end.”
-Ursula K le Guin-

I have had the pleasure of having family not only visiting but staying over! I enjoyed the shared meals, the talking that flows from this to that, the laughter and all that catching up with what has been happening to the grandchildren and the sisters and the friends. For me it was also a time of introspection. Of thinking back, remembering. These much loved guests are my in-laws. We are all now well on in years and they have been in my life for over fifty years.

Throughout the week we spent together I remembered the girl I had been so long ago. I don’t know how I managed to stand up straight! I wanted to belong to my husband’s large family so badly it hurt, but was there ever a more prickly defensive young woman on this earth! From there to here is what I call this blog and it is the mystery of just that journey that I was considering. How did it happen?

I know, of course I know there was pain. Growing up is having one’s sharp corners scraped off. It’s finding out who you are. And who you want to be. And how to get there. I remember the big moments, and the big changes. Those moments when the light comes on and you see really clearly. The moments when your heart softens and opens. Waking up to the fact that so often you have been wrong. That I am so easily unkind, so quick to see bad and wrong in others.

But the light and the softness and the need for kindness, that is for me too. And here where I am now, not young, here, I am part of a loving family. I look at them and see they have aged as I have, I see the arc of our lives and it has brought us to love.

The fullness of my life——
The sweet wine of autumn days and summer days
My little hoard gleaned through the years,
And hours rich with living

These will be my gift.
When death knocks at my door.
-Rabrindranath Tagore-